And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize