I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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