I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
