He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
