I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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