kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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