Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
