problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So vagazzling was a success
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