I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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