I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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