i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
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we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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