And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
