What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
