hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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