I'm drive I can fine osifer
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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