It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
