roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
