I can tuck mytits in my pants
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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