im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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