so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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