so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize