Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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