I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
