While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
