Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
