Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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