when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
