So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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