How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
