how can u be prego again
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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