It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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