So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I want to fling myself into the sun
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
