; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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