I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize