i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
