just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize