goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
