grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just forgot I was standing up.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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