Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
