So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
