at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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