Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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