This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
