I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
