Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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