Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
