I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
jump out the window naked night went bad
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