Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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