Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The feeling are messing with the penis
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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