She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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