Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize