We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
