WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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