She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
