He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
