Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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