so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
