im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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