I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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