Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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