I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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