My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
