Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
