Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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