So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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