She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
