Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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