drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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