Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.