I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
