As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
