i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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